Nascatur Denuo
By: Regina Bellatrix


Rating: NC-17

Spoilers: Season one through “Whatever the Case May Be”

Betas: shakespearespot and Louise

N.B.: Follows “Whatever the Case May Be” and is AU to the episodes that followed. The title is Latin meaning “he is born anew.” Thanks to spot for suggesting I consider the Buddhist concept of rebirth as a theme for my title. ~RB




Prologue


He supposed he should have hated the stuff. Should have been irreconcilably adverse to so much as looking at it, never mind taking it.


It had taken his brother from him, after all.


Not taken as in killed, but taken as in changed, warped, mutated until he was no longer recognisable. It almost would have been easier if it had killed him. Then Charlie would have known what to despise, known it was the heroin, not him and his delusions of grandeur, that had made Liam that way. As it was, his big brother, protector, best mate, and voice of confidence all-in-one had become a self-centred bastard. And, oh, the things he said...

Charlie had never felt worthless, utterly and truly worthless, until those hateful, hurtful words had come pouring out of Liam’s mouth. He believed them. Of course he believed them. He was already on his own emotional rollercoaster ride from Drive Shaft’s trials and successes, and it was beyond his ken to see the difference between what was Liam talking and what was the drug speaking through him.


Instead of despising the drug, Charlie learned to despise himself.


It’s hardly surprising, then, that a man, broken and still under pressure, should embrace a little chemical comfort. The heroin had made living in Liam’s shadow, little more than a hanger-on, bearable. And when Liam finally saw the light that was his daughter’s face and gave it up: drug, band, and brother all... Well, it made that bearable, too.



Chapter 1


Charlie had been clean for weeks now. One surge of pleasure at having won some of Jack’s respect, one small flick of his wrist and fingers, and his little stash of drugs had been consigned to the flames.

At the time it had seemed like a good idea. Locke had told him that he was proud of him, and that had felt good. Jack had been attentive, even protective of him as his withdrawal ran its course, and that had felt good as well. No one else found out about his little weakness, though some may have had suspicions. Afterwards, he’d continued making friends with the pregnant Claire, one of the few people who treated him like an equal.


Then everything had gone pear-shaped in a very major way.


Meeting Ethan in the jungle, trying to protect Claire and being dragged away despite his efforts, the rope of vines around his neck... It was all a blur up until the moment of finally regaining consciousness in Jack’s arms, Kate’s tiny hands wrapped in a desperate grip around one of his own. At first he didn’t speak much because of the shock and then because it physically hurt to do so. By the next morning his silence was the product of the guilt and despair that welled up and threatened to choke him as surely as the rope had. He would have given anything, then, for enough heroin to make it all go away.

Rose had tried to jolly him out of his despair. She had given him a focus for an afternoon: moving beach camp higher above the water line. She had given him hope, too; hope that if he asked, she could help him with his burden. When he’d sat next to her that night, though, sobbing and begging for aid, all she’d had to offer was a Protestant prayer and hand holding.

Even when he’d been young and innocent enough to believe that his sins would be forgiven through confession and a few Hail Marys, he’d known that Heaven only helps those who help themselves and no prayer would induce either Christ or God to swoop down and do his mental house-cleaning for him. Charlie needed support, and all Rose had to offer were platitudes.


Now he was holed up in a back corner of one of the caves, curled around his misery and hoping to be left alone. He thought there was a good chance of it. Most of the others were uncomfortable around him now, their eyes always straying to the livid welt on his neck and then darting away with a touch of shame. Locke was constantly out in the jungle, searching for Claire with Boone. Even before, Kate had never sought out his company, and Jack hadn’t checked on him either last night or this morning as was his wont.

He’d meant it when he told Rose that he thought that maybe he should have died on the end of that rope. Liam had been right, all those years ago: Charlie was virtually useless. It was especially true now. He had no special skills to contribute like Jack, Sayid, Michael, Locke, or even Sun with her plants. All he had was his physical labour and, as a small man recovering first from chemical dependency and then from being hung, there was little enough of that he could contribute. At least if he had died, there would have been one less mouth to feed.

Not, of course, that he was eating much these days. Jack had been pressing him to eat at least two small meals a day, but without the older man to force the issue, Charlie had been successful in either refusing anything offered to him or avoiding the issue altogether. The basic greed and instinct for self-preservation in his fellow castaways helped him; no one wanted to waste food on someone who claimed not to be hungry.


The sound of voices echoing in the cave made Charlie start and curl tighter into his corner. He only relaxed again when it was clear that they were not coming his way. The reverberation in the caves made him oddly grateful for the cold hollow in his chest. It sapped his emotions and energy, keeping him from tears. If he cried, someone was sure to hear and come looking for him. He didn’t want to deal with the others or their pity, he didn’t deserve it.


***


Fear clawed at Jack’s throat as he sprinted off in the direction the woman had pointed him. He’d been talking with Michael and Hurley about projects for making both camps more liveable when he realised that it had been almost twenty-four hours since he’d seen Charlie last. The other men had been startled, but not ultimately surprised, when he’d interrupted to ask if either of them knew where the damaged young man was. His concern was allayed slightly when their replies indicated that, the last they’d seen him, Charlie had been helping Rose shift camp. At least it sounded as if he was coming out of his shell a bit.

Jack had gone in search of Rose, then, hoping that Charlie would still be with her. Talking to the people on the beach brought him closer to finding Rose, but made his worry over Charlie increase. A number had seen Rose that afternoon, but none had seen Charlie since the day before. The more people who denied seeing the former rock-star, the more frantic Jack became. He knew Charlie was suffering from some sort of post-traumatic stress from his recent ordeal and he also knew that the other man was particularly prone to depression.

Visions of Charlie drowning himself or finding some other way to finish what Ethan had started by hanging him tormented Jack, so when he finally found someone who knew where Rose was, he was off and running before her words had died on the air.

He rounded a pair of scraggly trees and caught sight of Rose, slowing his pace so as not to be too winded to talk when he reached her. She lifted her head at his approach and gave him a smile. When he was near enough to her to be heard without shouting Jack called out to her, “Rose ... Rose, have you seen Charlie?”

Unconcerned, she replied, “Not since this morning, Doctor.”

“This morning? You saw him this morning?”

“Yes.”

“How was he? Was he okay? Do you know where he went?” The questions tumbled from Jack’s lips with hardly a pause between them, and Rose seemed confused by his intensity.

“He was fine, Doctor. I held his hand and prayed for him while he had a good cry last night, and this morning he seemed right as rain. Real peaceful. He went for a walk on the beach before breakfast. I assumed he went back to the caves after that.”

“Thanks, Rose,” was what Jack said. What he thought, however, was, Fuck. He might be a surgeon rather than a psychiatrist, but he’d taken enough psychology in undergrad to know that depressives often seemed calm and most at peace just before they attempted suicide.

He needed help to find Charlie and, as he turned away from Rose, Jack thought he knew where he might find it.


***


In his little corner, Charlie dozed. His light sleep was often broken by nightmares, but eventually exhaustion won out, and he slipped into a deep dreamless sleep.


***


“Jack! Just calm down!”

“No, Kate, I won’t fucking calm down. The sun is setting, and no one has seen Charlie since sunrise. Not in the caves. Not on the beach.” Jack took a step closer to Kate, hunching down to look her in the eye, not caring that she could see the way he was shaking.

“For all I know, his body could be floating further out to sea as we speak.”

“Jack. I’m sure he hasn’t...”

“Oh yeah? And what makes you the fucking expert on Charlie’s mental state, hmm? Last time I looked, I was the one taking care of him!” With that, Jack seemed to deflate. He stepped back and sunk to the ground, head hanging. “I was supposed to be taking care of him.

“I need to find him, Kate. I need for him to be okay.”

Kate’s hand came to rest on his shoulder, and she quietly said, “I’ll go find Michael and see if Locke’s back. We’ll organise a search of the caves. There’s a lot of places in there he could be hiding if he came up here looking for a place to be alone.”

“Yeah. Great. You do that, Kate.”

“We’ll find Charlie, Jack. I promise.”

Jack looked up at her, eyes dull and defeated, and asked, “Didn’t anybody ever tell you not to make promises you can’t keep?”

Kate gave him a little smile. “Who said it’s a promise I can’t keep?”


***


Locke seemed displeased about Charlie’s latest disappearance, but to his credit, and Jack’s relief, he made no censorious comment. He only made suggestions for the search, deferring to Michael’s expertise on the structural integrity of the caves.

Hurley had volunteered himself for the search party, as had Sayid, despite his injured leg. They were to go with Michael, while Jack and Kate searched with Locke. Flaming, rather than electric, torches were to be carried since no one fancied running out of battery power deep in the caves. Both groups had at least one member with a watch, and it was agreed that they would only search for two hours before returning to camp. If neither had found Charlie by then, they would start fresh in the morning.


Initially, Jack managed to contain himself fairly well, allowing Locke to lead their little group. Twenty minutes and two dead-ends into the search, however, Jack’s anxiety burst its bonds, and he ranged ahead of the other two, calling for Charlie. He didn’t see the concerned looks Kate and Locke exchanged, but he did hear the scream.

Jack’s head snapped around as he tried to determine the source of the sound in the echoing caves. “Charlie!”

“Quiet,” said Locke, stepping up beside him and straining to hear. Another scream, and Locke pointed down a corridor to their right. “That way.”

That was all Jack needed. He was off, running through the caves, following the sound of the increasingly frequent screams, his companions trailing behind. His path ended in a small room-sized cavern which was filled with the sound of Charlie’s voice. Charlie himself lay in the corner, asleep and in the grip of some nightmare.

Jack dropped his torch and rushed to Charlie’s side, moving to lift the other man’s tense body from the floor and wake him. One touch, and Jack sprawled backwards, struck by a flailing fist. He righted himself and grabbed this time for Charlie’s wrists.

“No!” Charlie shouted and began to struggle. Jack held on, trying to maintain his grip without bruising Charlie.

“Charlie! Charlie, wake up! It’s just me. It’s just Jack. Charlie, wake up!”

A jerk, a shuddering breath, and Charlie’s eyes were open and focused on Jack’s face. “Jack?”

Jack let go a shaky breath of his own and smiled. “Yeah. Yeah, it’s me.” He slid his hands up Charlie’s arms to help him sit up and was startled when Charlie just kept curling forward. The ragged sob that followed prompted him to pull the other man to his chest and cradle him as the tears escaped.

“Shhh... It’s okay.”

“Th-th-they had Claire and ... Liam was ... th-then the rope ... and Liam said...”

Jack could only make out a portion of what Charlie said as he sobbed, but it didn’t matter. He simply held him, smoothing back his hair in a comforting gesture and speaking softly to him. “It was just a dream, Charlie. It’s okay, just a dream.” He could hear Kate and Locke stepping up behind him, but they didn’t intrude. When Charlie’s sobs subsided, Jack said, “You know, you took about ten years off my life, disappearing like that.”

“Sorry. I just wanted to be alone.”

“I know. I know, and it’s okay. I’m not mad at you, just worried.”

“Sorry.”

“Charlie,” Jack took hold of Charlie’s shoulders and leaned back, turning the other man to face him, “stop apologising. You have nothing to be sorry for. Nothing; do you hear me?”

Charlie nodded and mumbled, “Yeah.”

“That’d be a lot more convincing if you looked at me while you said it.”

Head raised and eyes glinting with defiance, Charlie said, “Yes, Jack, I hear you.”

The tone was caustic and a bit patronising, but it made Jack smile and choke out a small laugh. “That’s more like it. I like Charlie the fighter better than Charlie the defeated.”

“‘And he carries the reminders of every glove that laid him down, or cut him until he cried out in his anger and his shame, “I am leaving. I am leaving,” but the fighter still remains.’”

“What?”

“The Boxer,” said Locke. “Paul Simon.”

Jack looked back and forth between Charlie and Locke, who were exchanging respect-filled glances, shaking his head before turning his focus back to Charlie alone. “Never had you pegged as a Simon and Garfunkel man.”

“There’s lots about me you don’t know.”

“True, but all that can wait until we get back to camp, you’ve had something to eat, and I’ve had a chance to check on your injuries.”


With a resigned air, Charlie allowed Jack to help him to his feet and followed the others back to camp.



Chapter 2


“Where do you want this?” Charlie waved Jack’s leather medical bag in the air and looked at the doctor expectantly. He was helping Jack move into a little “room” off the main cavern, it having been decided that the doctor ought to have a private area in which to examine and treat his patients. There was another space next to Jack’s room that he thought would make a good ICU of sorts in case there was ever an injury that required the patient to remain close by him.

“There’s a little ledge on the back... wall that it should fit on.” Jack straightened up from arranging the broken suitcase he used as a medicine cabinet and surveyed the space. His gaze lingered on the open entrance and he said, “I wish I had something to make a door of some sort with, for here and the ICU. To make it more private.”

Charlie stepped up next to Jack, eyeing the opening as well. “I saw one of those home improvement type shows once where they were remodelling this little house in some environmentally friendly community up in Scotland, and they made a partition out of some sort of, you know, local twigs or whatever, weaving them together. You could do something like that, only with bamboo. Make a screen and set it up so that people have to walk around it to get in.”

He turned his head to look at Jack and discovered that Jack was staring at him and grinning. “What?”

“You, Charlie, are brilliant.”

Charlie looked down, away from the bright glare of Jack’s admiration. “No, you’re brilliant, Jack. I’m... I’m just Charlie.”

“Yeah well, I think ‘just Charlie’ is a pretty smart guy. And don’t argue with me,” he added when Charlie opened his mouth to protest. “I won’t have you maligning my new handyman.”

Charlie’s head flew up, and he gave Jack a startled look. “Handyman?”

“Yeah. You are going to build those screens for me, aren’t you?”

“Me? You’re the one who’s supposed to be good with his hands.” The tips of his ears flushed red as his brain caught up with his mouth and he realised the other implications of that statement. Fortunately, Jack didn’t seem to notice.

“I’m a surgeon, Charlie. I couldn’t afford to do anything that might injure my hands. Even as a kid, my dad was always yelling at me to stay away from tools; wouldn’t even let me take shop in high school. It was always: ‘How are you going to become a surgeon if you ruin your hands before you even get to medical school?’ Believe me, you’d be much better off having me sew you a new shirt than build you anything. At least my stitching is pretty neat.”

“Man, Jack, I’m a musician and I still managed to do little weekend projects with my dad and brother. Course, if I was going to do something that would keep me from playing, it probably would’ve been breaking my wrist at football.” His eyes lost their focus for a moment before he snapped back to the present with a shake of his head and said, “I’m gonna need some help, you know.”

Jack spread his arms wide and replied, “Just tell me what to do, and I’ll provide whatever help you need. But it’s your project; you’re in charge.”


***


It took them all day to cut enough bamboo for four panels and to complete the two for the first room’s door-screen. The panels were joined at a ninety degree angle and then set up to create an L-shaped entryway to the room. Jack and Charlie had just eaten their dinner and were back in front of the doorway, admiring their work.

When Jack turned to Charlie, he caught the other man rubbing surreptitiously at his shoulder and wincing. “Care to step into my office, sir? I can take a look at your neck and chest, and maybe do something about your sore shoulder while I’m at it.”

For a moment, Charlie looked like he was going to refuse, but then he gave Jack a comical grimace and said, “Shoulders, plural. And I should be very pleased to see your new office, Doctor.”

“Right this way,” said Jack, gesturing towards the doorway. He followed Charlie in and pointed to his pile of blankets and tiny airline pillow up against the curving wall of the cave. “You can sit on my bedroll. It’ll be more comfortable than the floor, and the light from the torch should be pretty good there.”

“You need some furniture in here, Jack,” Charlie said as he sat down and pulled his shirt off. “A stool, at least, for your patients and occasional social callers to sit on.”

Jack knelt in front of him and began his ritual inspection of the welt on Charlie’s neck and the spreading bruise on his chest. “Know anyone who’s good with bamboo?”

“Oh no, man. Rectangular panels I can do. You want anything load bearing, you’d better talk to Michael.”

“Chest hurt at all?”

“Not really.” Charlie suppressed a shiver as Jack’s fingers explored the discoloured patch of skin. “It’s just a bit tender-like.”

“Well, you seem to be healing fine. That welt will probably start to itch in a few days. Do not scratch it.”

“I’ll try.”

Jack gave him a stern look. “Charlie, I swear, if I catch you scratching or picking at it, I will tie your hands behind your back so that you can’t touch it at all.”

“I’ll try, Jack. I can’t promise I won’t do it unconsciously, but I won’t do it purposely. Okay?”

“Okay. Why don’t you lie down on your stomach, and I’ll give you a backrub.”

“That part of the normal services you offer?” asked Charlie as he stretched out on top of the blankets, resting his head on the little pillow and letting his arms lay along his sides.

“No. I only offer backrubs to people who build me things.” He rubbed his hands together to warm them and began carefully seeking out the knots in Charlie’s shoulder muscles. “How does that feel?”

“Like fucking Heaven.”

“Let me know if anything I do hurts.”

“Uh-huh. Yeah, sure.”


Jack continued his gentle kneading until he felt the knots loosen and the muscles become pliable again, never hearing a single complaint from Charlie. He finished up with long, firm strokes down the length of Charlie’s back.

“Well, that does it. You can get up now, Charlie. Charlie?”

Jack shifted up to peer at the other man’s face, and as he’d suspected, Charlie was sound asleep. He looked considerably less haunted than he had since his abduction and rescue, and Jack didn’t have the heart to wake him. Instead, he pulled first Charlie’s then his own shoes off, grabbed a spare blanket from his medical supplies and, lying down between Charlie and the wall, spread it over the both of them.

“Good night, Charlie.”


***


“Knock, knock. Anybody home?”


Jack woke with the muzzy-headed feeling he always had when he came awake during the wrong part of his sleep cycle. There was a weight on his chest which, looking down, he identified as being Charlie. The other man had snuggled up to him as they slept and was using him as a pillow.


“Hey, Doc, you in there?” The sound of footsteps carrying someone around the screen followed, and Jack looked up to see Sawyer come to a halt just inside the room. “Well, well. Would ya look at that. Guess I know why you two were really buildin’ that screen yesterday.”

“It’s not what you think, Sawyer. I gave him a backrub and he fell asleep. It didn’t seem right to wake him, so I let him stay.” He reached up with one hand to shake Charlie’s bare shoulder, the blanket having fallen to his waist in the night. “Charlie, wake up.”

“Nnngh,” was the only reply he got.

“Bit of a cuddler, is he?” Sawyer’s smirk grew with Jack’s discomfort as Charlie burrowed against him.

“Was there something you wanted, Sawyer, or are you just here to torment me?”

“Yup. I came for my daily dose of them antibiotics, but if you’re too busy with your little rock star there...”

“S’mbody turn the fuckin’ radio off. ‘M tryin’ t’ sleep.” Charlie’s hand fisted in Jack’s shirt, and he pressed his face harder against Jack’s chest in an attempt to escape the noise.

“Charlie, wake up. It’s not a radio, it’s Sawyer.” Jack shook him again and this time was rewarded with the sight of open blue eyes.

“Jack?” Charlie sat up, looking confused, and scrubbed at his face with both hands. “Oh, that’s right, fell asleep during my backrub. Sorry.”

“So how long’ve you two been an item, anyway? Since after the grand rescue, I bet. Did he fall into your arms outta gratitude, Doc?”

Charlie looked over his shoulder at Sawyer then back at Jack. “What the hell is he doing here?”

“Getting his medicine,” Jack replied, standing up and moving to his medicine cabinet, a little of the muzziness dissipating as he did so. “First thing, Sawyer, he’s my patient. I realise you’re not very well acquainted with it, but there’s this little thing called ethics, medical ethics in particular, that make what you’re suggesting very, very wrong. And second, I told you: it’s not what you think.”

“Hey, Doc, it’s okay. I don’t bat for your team, but we’re all human. It’s expected; you see a nice piece of tail, you might waiver from the straight and narrow a bit. No pun intended.”

“Has anybody told you how completely disgusting you are, Sawyer?” asked Charlie as he stood up and turned to face the offensive man.

“Think Freckles might’ve mentioned it once or tw... Jesus Christ, boy! What the hell’d they do to you?!” Sawyer was staring at the bruise on Charlie’s chest, which had turned a mottled purple and sickly green and, until now, few had seen besides Jack.

Charlie took a step closer and replied, “They hung me, Sawyer. That’s what caused this.” He made a jabbing motion at the welt on his neck with one finger. “Jack brought me back to life. That’s what caused this.” He laid his palm over the bruise, fingers splayed.

Sawyer was almost speechless, but he managed a strangled, “You did that?” when Jack handed him his pills.

“Yeah, I did. I had to pound him pretty hard to get him breathing again. Luckily, I didn’t break the sternum, and the bruise is healing well. There something else you needed, Sawyer?”

“No. I ... ah ... I’ll j’st go find me some breakfast and a glass of water to take these with.” One last hard look at Charlie and Sawyer left quicker and quieter than he’d arrived.


“Sorry about him, Charlie. He’s...”

“Despicable?”

“I was going to say ‘a dick head’, but despicable works, too.”

Charlie laughed a little at that, then turned away. “Where the fuck did I put my shirt? And what happened to my shoes?”

“Oh, I took your shoes off last night and put them at the end of the bed, next to your shirt.”

“Thanks.” He pulled on his shirt and pushed his feet into his shoes. Looking back at Jack, he said, “I’m going to get breakfast. Do you want me to bring you something?”

“No, no, that’s okay. I’m just going to make the bed and put on my shoes. I’ll be out in a bit.”

“Alright. Are we going to finish the other screen today?”

“Yeah, we might as well get it done. Then the ICU will be ready if we need it.”

“I hope we don’t need it.”

“Me, too, Charlie. Me, too.”


***


Charlie stretched in the sun, enjoying the feeling of being clean, if somewhat salty. After completing the second screen the day before, Jack had suggested that both Charlie’s muscles and his bruises would benefit from a soak in the salt water of the sea. First thing that morning, Charlie had heeded the doctor’s advice and, with a clean change of clothing in his arms, had trekked down to the beach to bathe. He’d been careful not to wade out too far. He couldn’t swim and didn’t want to be pulled out to sea to drown like that one unfortunate woman had. Perhaps, he thought, he’d ask Jack to teach him to swim one of these days.

A wave of warmth pushed through him at the thought of the doctor. Jack had been a constant pillar of comfort and support for him over the past several days as he’d worked to sort himself out and deal with the hand fate had dealt him. What caused the feeling of warmth, however, was the memory of waking up next to the man the morning before.

Early on, Charlie had been aware of Jack as an attractive man, but it wasn’t until he’d become aware of Jack as an attractive person that he’d formed an interest in him. Still, he hadn’t thought there was much point in showing his interest. As far as he could tell, Jack was straight. There had even seemed to be some flirtation going on between him and Kate, and Charlie had thought to confine his attentions to the female sex. It had hardly seemed worth fashing himself out over the man when it seemed that they’d be rescued any day.

Now Charlie knew better than to believe rescue would come anytime soon. As one hope faded, however, another grew. The flirtation between Jack and Kate began to be increasingly one-sided. True, Jack seemed to genuinely like and care for Kate on some level, but his behaviour towards her lacked the sexual undertone that often laced hers towards him. It was a small enough thing but, combined with the fact that Jack had never once protested to Sawyer that he was straight when he was trying to disabuse him of the notion that he and Charlie had had sex, it gave him a glimmer of hope.

The memory of Jack’s scent and the feel of his chest under his cheek fuelled Charlie’s new fantasies. He liked to think that he might be able to win Jack for his own. The other man was a genuinely nice person, and Charlie felt he could use a little nice in his life right now.


“Hi, Charlie!”


His reverie was broken by the piping voice, and he turned to see the ten year-old Walt walking towards him, his Labrador Vincent in tow.

“Hey, Walt. How’re you and Vincent today?”

“Good.” The boy stopped even with Charlie and looked up at him. “Can I ask you a question?”

“I suppose so. What’d you want to ask?”

“Are you and the doctor sleeping together?”

Charlie stared at the boy in shock for a moment before managing a squeaky, “What?”

“Are you and the doctor...”

“I heard you the first time, Walt. What I meant was: where did you hear that, and why do you want to know? You’re only ten, for crying out loud!”

“Some of the others have been arguing about it when neither of you are around.” Walt shrugged. “I want to know the truth.”

“Alright, Truth-seeker, the answer is no.”

“Do you want to?”

Charlie scrubbed a hand across his face and sighed. “I think I need to sit down for this conversation.” He lowered himself onto the sand, and Walt plopped down in front of him. “Now, why do you want to know that? If it’s just idle curiosity, you can go find something else to do, because my sex and fantasy lives are really none of your business, and your dad would probably skin me if he found out I was talking about this stuff with you.”

“Well, I guess it’s mostly ‘cause it seems like he really likes you, and I thought that if he likes you and you like him, then you ought to be together.”

“What makes you think he likes me like that?”

“He worries about you.”

“Jack’s a doctor, Walt. He’s practically a professional worrier.”

“No, I mean more than he worries about everybody else. You should have seen him when you and Claire were kidnapped. He was worried about you both, but it was more ‘Charlie this’ and ‘Charlie that’ than ‘they’ anything. And when he brought you back he was more, you know, touchy-feely with you than normal.”

“I’m sure that was just because of the stress of the situation. He’d had to work pretty hard to get me breathing again, you know.” Charlie looked down for a moment before shaking himself to push away his sudden melancholia and continuing the conversation. “Is that it, or do you have more evidence to present?”

“Just the way he looks at you.”

“And how exactly does Jack look at me?”

“Sometimes he looks at you like he wants to, I don’t know, say something or something. Sometimes he looks at you the way my dad, I mean my other dad, would look at my mom, but he only ever does it when he thinks nobody’s watching.

“So, do you want to sleep with him?”

“Yes.” Charlie breathed the word like it was a benediction, letting his eyes fall shut for a moment.

“Then why don’t you?”

“Even assuming you’re right about how Jack feels about me, Walt, it’s not that simple. He’s a doctor, and doctors have a rule that tells them that getting involved with their patients is wrong. Right now, Jack considers me his patient.”

“How come they think it’s wrong?”

“It’s because there are a lot of people out there who, out of misplaced gratitude or something, are prone to developing crushes on their doctors, and the doctors would be taking advantage of those people if they got involved with them.”

“So they can’t be with any patients in case the one they like is one of the people who are just grateful?”

“That’s right.”

“But you’re not one of those people.”

“No.”

“So what’re you gonna do?”

“Wait and pray for the patience of the dead.”


***


“Jack, you in there?” Charlie stood in front of the door screen of Jack’s room, hands shoved into his pants’ pockets to keep them away from his neck.

“Yeah, Charlie, I’m here. Come on in.”

He stepped around the screen into the room and found not only Jack but Kate as well. Even though they were standing well apart, Charlie felt a surge of jealousy; he knew Kate wanted Jack, too.

“What can I do for you, Charlie?”

Kiss me. Touch me. Love me. “My neck itches like hell. The skin’s all dry and tight, and I was wondering if maybe you had some lotion or something I could put on it.”

“No,” Jack shook his head and looked apologetic. “Sorry. I was looking for pills and antibiotic ointments when I went through the baggage. I didn’t think to look for lotion.”

“You could try asking Shannon if she has any,” offered Kate. “I know she had nail polish and sun block; she might have hand lotion, too. Of course, there’s always Sawyer. If it was there to be found, he’s probably got it.”

“Yeah, thanks. I’ll do that.”

“If you can’t get any lotion,” said Jack, “you could ask Sun for a couple of leaves off her aloe plant. You can squeeze the juice onto your skin and it should help soothe it a bit.”

“Right. Aloe. Got it. Thanks.” Charlie was vaguely dismayed by his descent into monosylabalism, but he could think of nothing else to say. Instead of staying to potentially embarrass himself further, he left to begin his search for lotion.


Once Charlie had gone, Jack turned his attention back to Kate, trying to remember if she’d told him why she’d sought him out this morning.

“It’s easy to see how those rumours got started.”

“What?”

“About you and Charlie.”

Jack rolled his eyes and jabbed a finger towards the door and the outside world. “Sawyer is how those rumours got started.”

“Okay, but you can see what gave them credence.”

“And what, pray tell, is that?”

“Come on, Jack. Can’t you see the way he looks at you? That adoring puppy expression?”

“Kate, he looks at anyone who is even remotely kind to him like that.”

“If you say so, Jack. But if I’m right, what are you going to do about it?”

“Nothing. Charlie knows that I can’t get involved with patients.”

“And after his neck is healed, when he’s not really your patient anymore, what then?”

“If he still feels the same...” Jack smiled a little and stood up straighter. “That’s a different ballgame altogether, isn’t it?”

“Jack?” Kate looked confused; that obviously was not the reply she’d been expecting, and Jack felt a moment’s pity for her.

“Kate?”

“You mean you’re actually...? But I thought you...”

“Were straight?” Jack waited for her dumbfounded nod before continuing. “Yeah, well, I tend to let people assume that. It’s easier that way, and there usually isn’t any reason to disabuse them of the notion. My sex life really isn’t anybody else’s business.”

“But now, Jack... Everybody from the crash is going to know if you do have a relationship. At the moment it’s just speculation, if it becomes common knowledge, things could get ugly with some people.”

“I know. They all made me their erstwhile leader and they’re free to depose me at any time. But I’m the only doctor in this little community, and if they want to be treated, they’re going to have to at least be civil.”

“Wow, Jack, that’s -- that’s ballsy.”

“Wouldn’t you do the same if you were the doctor and some of them had issues with women in positions of authority?”

“Yeah, I probably would.”

“Well, there you go.” Jack turned away to busy himself pretending to arrange his medicine cabinet. Predictably, Kate wasn’t ready to let the subject drop just yet.

“So you really like Charlie, huh?”

Jack sighed and sat back against the wall next to the cabinet. “Yes, I do. He’s attractive, funny, sweet, and he doesn’t play games with me.”

Kate stiffened and said, “Do I detect a note of censure?”

“No, Kate,” Jack shook his head and put his hands up in a placating gesture. “It’s just something a lot of guys do. You know, power games. I’m past the point of wanting to either dominate or be dominated. I just want ... a partner. Someone to help and be helped by.”

“And maybe a little bit of ‘happily ever after’ thrown in for good measure?” Kate asked with a smile.

Jack chuckled and said, “I certainly wouldn’t object.”


***


Shannon hadn’t had any lotion. She had even run out of sun block, so Charlie couldn’t beg a palmful of that to tide him over until he found someone who did have lotion, either. All Shannon had for him were questions, and Charlie swore that the next person who asked him if he was shagging Jack (or more precisely, if Jack was shagging him) was going to get decked.

That resolution firmly in mind, Charlie trudged into Sawyer’s little shelter with the hope that the packrat would have what he was looking for and save him from confronting the curious masses.

“Well, well, look who we have here. What can I do you for this fine day?”

“I need lotion, or baby oil, or something for my neck, and since you seem to have set yourself up as the local supermarket, I thought I’d see if you had some.”

“What, your boyfriend didn’t have any?”

“Jack’s not my boyfriend, Sawyer,” said Charlie through clenched teeth, “and no, he didn’t.”

“Yeah, yeah. So Freckles keeps tellin’ me. Personally, I think she’s deludin’ herself.”

“And you just want it to be true so that you won’t have Jack as competition for Kate.”

“Guilty as charged. Now, let’s see about findin’ you some lotion, ‘cause as long as Jack-o only has eyes for you, you’re my favourite person on this island.”

“You’re crazy.”

“Here you go.”

A small bottle flew through the air and Charlie caught it, turning it to read the label. “Victoria’s Secret Love Spell body lotion?” He popped the lid open and sniffed at the purple substance. “Smells like jelly-worms.”

“Hey, it’s lotion ain’t it?”

“Yeah. Thanks, Sawyer.” He turned to go, but Sawyer’s voice stayed him.

“Hold on j’st a second. I got a little gift bag here that I put together for you.”

Charlie took the little cloth bag Sawyer was holding out to him, a dubious expression on his face. “I don’t know if I should be pleased or afraid.”

“Why don’t you open it up and find out?”

Making himself comfortable on the ground, Charlie loosened the string tie on the bag and peered inside. What he saw made him roll his eyes. “Condoms?” He pulled out a tube and a rounded bottle. “KY jelly and Kama Sutra massage oil? I think I’m afraid.”

“Now, now, don’t be ungrateful. I gave you a variety assortment from the condoms I found. There’s regular, some fruit flavoured, and a couple that are ribbed for your pleasure. All lubricated with no spermicide. I kept those for myself.”

“You know it can’t be healthy, this fixation you have on the fantasy love affair between two other men.”

“Relax, man. You and the doc might not be swappin’ bodily fluids right now, but I have full faith in your ability to seduce him and I want you to be prepared when the time comes.”

Charlie looked up into Sawyer’s smirking face, his own expression incredulous. “You are crazy.”



Chapter 3


“What the hell do you mean, Locke’s gone off to find Claire?!” The bags of full water bottles Charlie’d been carrying to the survivors on the beach dropped to the ground. His face was a livid red, and if it had been anyone else but Jack telling him this, violence would have erupted. “When did he go?”

“Sunrise this morning.” Jack had the decency to look apologetic as he set his own burdens down and pulled him to the side of the path, but it made Charlie suspicious.

“How long have you known about this?”

“Charlie...”

“How long have you known about this, Jack?”

“Three days.”

Charlie felt like he’d been punched in the solar plexus and he took a staggering step backwards. “What? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Kate told me about Locke’s plan. He wanted to go alone; it’s probably just going to be a reconnaissance mission this time. We knew that if you found out about it you’d try to go with, so we decided to wait to say anything to you until after he was gone.”

“Damn it, Jack! The bruise on my chest is practically gone, and all that’s left on my neck is an itchy scab. I’m not your bloody patient anymore; you can stop fucking coddling me!”

“This isn’t about me trying to coddle you, Charlie. We all know you feel responsible for what happened to Claire, and it’s natural that you’d want to help get her back, but Locke didn’t want anyone with him on this. Not you, not me, not Sayid or Kate. He thought he’d have the best chance of finding her on his own, and that’s what we were trying to give him.”

Charlie seemed to think about what Jack had said, his posture relaxing as some of his anger drained away. “Do you think he’ll find her?”

“I don’t know. I think that if anyone has a chance of finding Claire it’s Locke.”

“A chance.” His eyes started to sting and he looked down rubbing the heel of his hand against his eye. “Fuck.” He sniffled and began rubbing at both eyes. “Sorry, sorry. Don’t mean to be a weepy git.”

“Hey, it’s okay. What’re a few tears between friends, after all?” A strangled sob escaped Charlie, and Jack reached out to pull him into a hug. “Come here.”

Charlie went willingly into the embrace, shamelessly relishing the opportunity to be close to the other man. “It’s embarrassing, but I’ve always been like this. Get stressed out, and the fucking waterworks start at the drop of a hat. Only time I didn’t was when I was using.”

“Could be worse. You could be like me: get stressed, stop sleeping, and start hallucinating. At least you get some sort of release that doesn’t involve going stark raving mad.”

A small sniffle as the tears slowed, and Charlie wrapped his arms around Jack to return the embrace. “I have yet to see you go stark raving mad. Slightly mental ... yes, but mad?” He looked up at Jack with a smile and shook his head. “No.”

“Only slightly mental, huh?”

“Yeah. I’m a rock-god, remember; I’ve seen the whole spectrum, and you most definitely are no more than slightly mental.”

Jack laughed, and Charlie could feel it vibrating pleasantly though his own body, transmitted by the contact.

“Well, I’m glad to hear it.” He looked down into Charlie’s open face and was entranced by the mischief that had managed to work its way up from beneath the sorrow in the stormy-blue eyes. His hand had moved to frame the left side of Charlie’s face, and he was on the verge of making a slightly vapid and extremely embarrassing-in-the-wrong-company observation about his eyes looking like the sea after a storm when the sharp snap of a twig sounded behind him.


Charlie’s breath had nearly stopped when Jack’s hand came to rest cupping his face, and his thoughts had stuck in a loop of kiss me, kiss me, kissmekissmekissme after an initial yes, please as Jack gazed down at him. If the snapping twig didn’t break the mood, however, Jack’s sudden leap backwards out of his arms and the sight of Sawyer’s smirking, though somewhat apologetic, face certainly did.

“Oops. Sorry, boys, didn’t mean to interrupt. I do j’st keep walkin’ in on you, don’t I?”

Jack kept his head down and made no eye contact as he mumbled a disheartening, “I’ve got some things I need to do. I’ll see you later, Charlie, Sawyer,” and disappeared down the path towards the beach, not remembering to retrieve the bags of water bottles he’d set down earlier.

Charlie glared at Sawyer and, once Jack was well away, laid into the Southerner. “Great, Sawyer, just great. What fucking wonderful timing you have! He was this close,” he held up his thumb and forefinger with only a hairsbreadth of space between them, “this fucking close to either kissing me or saying something perfectly romantic, and you had to pop out of the bloody jungle. Do you think next time you might try to wait to show up until I at least have my tongue half-way down his throat? Not that there will be a next time. It’ll take weeks before we get another moment like that, or for him to screw up enough courage to try again. We’ll be rescued first!” Charlie’s focus shifted from Sawyer to some internal thought process. “I’ll have to go on the offensive.” He shifted back to Sawyer, who was, for once, standing dumb under the assault. “What the bloody hell’re you doing up here anyway?”

“Water run.”

“Well then, you can help me carry the water that Jack left because you scared him away down to the beach.” Charlie pointed at the bags in question, continuing to glare at Sawyer until the man picked them up, at which point he collected his own discarded burdens and led the way down the path.

“Listen, man, I said I was sorry. Look, you’re the one with the condoms and the lube. Why don’t you go on the offensive, like you said, and show up at his room tonight with a present and a proposition?”

Charlie stopped dead in his tracks and turned to face Sawyer, who almost stumbled into him. “Sawyer, this is Jack we’re talking about. He’s a mature, educated man, not one of my groupies. I can’t write my room number on a condom with a biro, slip it into his back pocket with a wink, and expect him to show up ready and waiting for a good fuck.”

“You had groupies?”

Charlie rolled his eyes in exasperation and, cocking his head, jutted his crooked jaw forward aggressively. “Did you understand anything I just said?”

“Yeah, yeah. Approaching Jack calls for more finesse than scoring with fanboys. I’m j’st intrigued by this groupie thing.”

“You want to hear about my groupies?” Charlie asked, incredulous.

“Yeah. You have a lot of ‘em?”

“Not as many as my brother, but a fair number.”

“Your brother was in the band, too?”

“Yes. He was lead vocal, and I was bass and backup vocal.”

“I see. So, how many’d you score with?”

“Honestly, I have no idea. And, before you ask, it was birds and blokes, sometimes both at once.”

“I never would have guessed you had so much experience, little brother. I’m impressed.”

Charlie flinched and turned away from Sawyer. “Yeah, well... I never said it was good experience, and Jack’ll probably be disgusted when he finds out. I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t share that information with anyone.”

“Mum’s the word. I’ll be the soul of discretion.”

“And don’t call me little brother.”


***


Charlie was sitting, staring into the flames of a campfire when Jack settled next to him that evening. It was the first he’d seen of the man since Sawyer had interrupted them that afternoon.

“Hey, Jack.”

“Hi. Listen, I’m sorry about this afternoon. I shouldn’t have run off like I did. I just ... got spooked, I guess.”

“It’s okay, Jack. I understand. Sawyer seems to have that affect on people, especially when he’s being smug.”

“Not you, though. I noticed you got him to help deliver the water.”

“You saw that?”

“Yeah, some. I, ah, I was sitting just inside the tree line, banging my head against one of the trunks for acting like such an idiot, when the two of you came out of the jungle. The way you managed him was very impressive.”

“Managed him?” Charlie sniggered.

“He kind of looked like a Great Dane trailing along behind you like that.”

Charlie’s eyes watered from the effort not to succumb to the urge to laugh hysterically at the image of Sawyer-as-Great-Dane. He dashed the moisture away with one hand and swatted Jack with the other. “Fuck. Don’t say things like that. I’m never going to be able to look at Sawyer again without laughing, now.”

“Sorry,” said Jack, not sounding the least bit contrite. “At least I made you laugh. You don’t laugh enough.”

“Hasn’t been much to laugh about lately, has there?”

“No, I suppose not.”


Silence settled between them, but it wasn’t uncomfortable, so neither felt inclined to break it. Combined with the heat from the fire and their bodies, it created a relaxing atmosphere, and Jack’s eyelids began to droop as a result. The second time he had to shake himself awake he decided that it was time to retire for the evening.

“Oh man,” he said with a jaw cracking yawn, “I think it’s time for me to call it a night.” He stood and clapped Charlie on the shoulder. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Yeah.”


Jack was nearly to his room when he heard footsteps behind him and Charlie calling out to him.

“Jack, wait a second.”

“What is it, Charlie?”

“Forgot something.”

Jack’s confusion turned to pleasant shock when Charlie stood on the tips of his toes, one hand snaking behind Jack’s head to pull him down a bit, and kissed him on the lips. It was a simple kiss, closed mouthed, firm but not demanding, and just lingering enough to make Charlie’s intent clear.

“Good night, Jack,” Charlie said when he’d pulled back. He smiled sweetly and turned away, leaving Jack dumbfounded, fingers brushing his lips.


***


Charlie came awake by increments, though he wasn’t entirely convinced that he was waking at all. The first level of consciousness came with the sensation of a pair of lips upon his own. The second with the stroking of deft fingers down the side of his face and along his jaw. The third was accompanied by the nuzzling of a prominent nose under his ear, and the fourth quickly followed with a whispering puff of breath that carried his name.

“Mmmm, Jack.” Charlie stretched and opened his eyes, coming to full consciousness. He was lying next to the remnants of the campfire he’d slept by the night before, Jack leaning over him and grinning.

“Good morning, Charlie. Anybody ever tell you you sleep like a log?”

“Had to. It was the only way to get any sleep on tour. I like your way of waking me much better than my band mates’ methods, though.” He sat up and, after a brief glance around them, darted in to claim another small kiss. “Awfully brave of you to do it out here where anybody could walk by.”

“Yeah well, I think I need to start getting over some of that; everybody’s going to know about us anyway. Might as well get used to it. Besides, they’re all either on the beach or up at the golf game right now.”

“Golf game?”

“Hurley thought everybody could use a break, so he organised another game.”

“And no one thought to wake me and ask if I might want to play?”

“He told me he tried to get you up, but you just grumbled at him in your sleep and rolled over. I’m supposed to be waking you and asking if you’d care to play.”

“Ah. I suppose I can forgive him, then, since he sent you to wake me.”

“How about some breakfast? Then you can either go play a round of golf or you can help me with a little project.”

Charlie perked up at that, eagerness shining from his face. “A project?”

“Yeah.” Jack looked down, colour seeping up the back of his neck. “The rock floor of the caves is a bit hard to sleep comfortably on. I thought I might try making a bed. Frame in a space with bamboo, fill it with sand. Just enough for a little cushion. Nothing very complicated, but I could use some help.”

“I’ll help you make your bed,” said Charlie, leaning forward into Jack’s space, “but on one condition: I get to lie in it.”

Jack looked up, smiling. “Deal,” he said and sealed it with a kiss.


***


It was late afternoon before Jack and Charlie were finished with the bed. They’d had a small battle early on with the bamboo that formed the frame of the bed which had involved much swearing as they attempted to notch and lash the pieces together so that the would stay together. Once the frame was done, all they had to do was the tiring work of dragging load after load of dry sand up from the beach. The last step was to spread blankets atop the sand mattress and arrange their little pillows at the head. Charlie had moved his meagre possessions into the room, setting them in the corner created by the door screen so that they’d be out of the way.

Unspoken agreement had prompted them each to grab clean clothes and head down to the beach one last time for a soak in the sea. At the moment, they were standing in chest deep water at a secluded spot on the beach. Jack was using his soaked shirt to scrub Charlie’s back and shoulders as the other man leaned into it gratefully. The strokes turned caressing, and Jack worked them around to Charlie’s chest and abdomen, stepping closer to press his chest to the other man’s back. Charlie responded with a low hum of pleasure and tilted his head back to rest against Jack’s shoulder.

Jack took the invitation, nuzzling along the upturned jaw and nipping at the exposed ear. He pressed a kiss to the line of scab and shiny new skin on Charlie’s neck and then laid another on it reverently. Charlie turned his head and nudged Jack’s cheek with his nose until he met his gaze.

“It’s not your fault either, Jack.”

“I don’t...”

“You can’t kid a kidder, Jack. That last kiss was an apology. It had guilt written all over it.”

“Know a lot about that, do you?”

“I was born and raised Catholic, Jack; I know all about guilt.”

“And this,” Jack ran a hand down Charlie’s side to rest on his hip, “doesn’t bother you?”

Charlie rubbed his body back against Jack’s and dragged his tongue over the skin and stubble of Jack’s neck. “Never said I was a good Catholic.” He nipped at Jack’s neck and grinned wolfishly when he was rewarded with the forward thrust of hips and the bump of a sizeable erection against his ass.

“Yeah, oh,” Jack gasped as Charlie squirmed against him, “we probably should discuss that, fuck, one of these days.”

“But not right now.”

“No,” said Jack, sliding his hand off Charlie’s hip to his burgeoning erection, “not right now.”

Their tongues duelled for dominance and Jack began pumping Charlie’s cock in his fist. The feel of the other man’s foreskin was novel to Jack, and he played with it, sliding it away from the head to thumb the slit there. Charlie was thrusting up into his hand and whimpering into his mouth, and it wasn’t long before he was coming with a shout, his semen mingling with the salt water of the sea.

Jack held Charlie while he regained his bearings, petting and kissing him until the blue eyes were lucid again. Charlie turned in his arms and returned the kisses an ardour that surprised Jack.

“Been a while, has it?” he managed during a pause for breath.

“Let’s put it this way,” replied Charlie, stroking his hands across Jack’s shoulders. “It’s been a while since I’ve been this involved with what and who I was doing.

“Now, it seems to me that you have a rather large problem here.” He ran a teasing hand up Jack’s erect cock, smirking at the needy expression on his lover’s face. “Perhaps you’d like me to take care of it for you?”

“Please.”

Charlie had just got a firm grip on Jack’s cock and was bending his neck to suck at one nipple when the sound of voices was carried around the bend of the beach to them.


“I’m telling you, I heard someone call out.”

“Are you certain?”

“Yeah, man. You think I’d make something like that up?”

“No, but it could have been...”


“Fuck,” said Jack. “It’s Hurley and Sayid, and they’re coming this way.” He took Charlie by the shoulders and pushed him away. “I’m teaching you how to swim. Got that?”

“What? Jack, what happened to getting used to people knowing about us?”

“Having them know we’re in a relationship, and maybe having someone catch us kissing, is one thing. I am not ready to admit to them that they’ve walked in on us having sex on the beach just yet. Okay?”

“Technically we’re not having sex on the beach. We’re just...”

“Charlie.”

“Okay, okay. You’re the one who’s going to be stuck with blue balls.” He stepped back from Jack just in time for Sayid and Hurley to round the curve.


“Jack, Charlie! You guys okay? I thought I heard someone shout.”

“Yeah, Hurley, that was me,” replied Charlie. “Jack’s teaching me to swim, and I panicked a little when I sunk instead of floating. Didn’t mean to worry anyone. Sorry.”

“It’s okay, man, I was looking for Jack anyway.”

“Great,” muttered Jack, so only Charlie could hear. Louder he said, “What did you need me for, Hurley? Is somebody hurt?”

“No. Michael’s started working on the shower thingy, and we could use your help.”

“Why me? There are forty other people to pick from, why does it have to be me?”

“Dude, we’ve already got Scott and Steve and a bunch of the other guys on it. Locke’s nowhere to be found. Nobody wants to ask Sawyer; not that he’d help anyway. We just need another strong pair of hands, man.”

“I’ll do it,” offered Charlie. “Let Jack have a break, finish his swim. I’ll help.”

“No offence, dude, but you’re kinda small. We were hoping for a big guy like Jack.”

Jack saw Charlie go tense and tried to lay a pacifying hand on his shoulder, but Charlie shrugged it off and strode purposefully out of the water. The sight of it dripping off Charlie’s body as he emerged from the sea did nothing to diminish Jack’s erection, and it twitched with need.

Out of the water, Charlie headed straight for Hurley and Sayid, stopping directly in front of the fat man. He cocked his head, shoulders back and feet planted in an aggressive stance. Jack could imagine the steely glint in the blue eyes and he had to bite back a moan.

“Do I look like a, as you Americans say, ninety-eight pound weakling to you?”

“Dude, you’re not wearing any clothes!” Hurley desperately averted his gaze, trying to find something to focus on besides the naked Englishman in front of him. Sayid stood calmly next to him, trying not to snicker at his reaction.

“Answer the question, Hurley.”

No, thought Jack, enjoying the spectacular view he was being afforded of Charlie’s muscles as they flexed and twitched in agitation.

“No,” echoed Hurley, “but...”

“But what? You said you needed strong hands, not someone tall. Strong hands, I have. And if you need tall, I can get Sawyer to help.”

That shocked Hurley into looking Charlie in the eye. “Dude, no way!”

“And how do you propose to do that?” asked Sayid, as disbelieving as Hurley.

“What, hadn’t you heard? I’m Sawyer’s favourite person right now.” Charlie turned his head and grinned at Jack, still smiling when he turned back to the others.

“Really?” said Sayid with raised eyebrows. “Get dressed, then, and we’ll go get Sawyer.”

“Excellent.” Charlie moved over to his pile of fresh clothing and dressed quickly, before hesitating as he eyed the clothes he’d removed earlier.

“Just leave your laundry, Charlie,” called Jack as he backed into deeper water. “I’ll bring it up with mine when I’m done swimming.”

“Thanks, Jack.” Charlie waved to him and followed Sayid and Hurley back up the beach. When they got near Sawyer’s shelter, he stopped and told them to stay there. Sawyer was more likely to cooperate if Charlie made the request alone.


“Sawyer, we need help with a project at the caves. Why don’t you come?”

Sawyer looked up at the intrusion and asked pleasantly, “And why would I want to do that?”

“Because I’m your favourite person on the island, and I’m asking you to.”

“That gets you free supplies for the cause, not my labour on some random project.”

“It’s not a random project. They’re building a shower system. It’s for the greater good.”

“No go, Charlie.”

“You won’t even do it out of gratitude for me making Jack unavailable to a certain short brunette?”

Sawyer sat up straighter at that. “Officially unavailable?”

“Uh-huh.”

“When?”

“This morning.”

Sawyer leapt to his feet. “Why the hell didn’t you say so t’ start with?!”

Charlie shrugged. “Thought I’d give you a chance at doing it for the right reason first. Look at it this way: you’ll make points with Kate.”

“Well then, what the hell’re we waitin’ for?”


***


“I’m so fucking exhausted,” Charlie moaned theatrically and slumped against Jack as he sat down by the fire. “No more projects for the rest of the week once this is done. I’m not lifting another finger.”

Jack chuckled and handed Charlie some fruit and part of the fish he’d cooked. “You did volunteer.”

“Yeah, I did. Stop me next time, will you?”

“Oh man,” said Hurley, claiming a spot across the fire to eat his own dinner, “you were brilliant today, Charlie.”

“Brilliant, huh?” said Jack. “What’d he do?”

“Well first, he actually got Sawyer up here to help, which, you know, was like a miracle. And then, whenever Sawyer looked like he was going to protest when Michael told him to do something, Charlie’d just give him this look, you know, and Sawyer would do it. All while doing his own share of the work. It was great.”

“Wow, Charlie, doing your own work and supervising Sawyer; I’m impressed. No wonder you’re so tired.”

“And I’m doing it all again tomorrow. Oh!”

Jack laughed and draped an arm around Charlie’s shoulders. “Just think about how nice it’ll be to be able to take a shower to get clean instead of soaking the dirt off in the ocean and then having to sponge bathe in fresh water to get the salt off.”

“One-stop washing. Oh bliss.” Charlie sighed and dropped his head onto Jack’s shoulder, eyes falling shut.

“Hey, finish your fruit, Charlie, then you can go to bed.” Charlie perked up. “That’s right,” he said between gulping down that last few pieces of his dinner, “we have a bed.” He leapt up and offered his hand to help Jack up.

“Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.” Hurley was waving his hands in the air and looking suspicious. “What’s this ‘we have a bed’ business?”

“Well, um, Charlie helped me build a bed this morning and now he’s moving in with me.”

Jack had spoken very quickly, and it took Hurley a few seconds to process the speech. When he did he exploded with, “Dude!” and an accusatory finger shaken at Charlie. “You told me you weren’t sleeping with him!”

“I wasn’t when you asked,” Charlie replied reasonably. “I am now, though.”

“Yeah, I gathered that.”

“You have a problem with that, Hurley?” asked Jack, defensive.

“Yeah, I have a problem with that. It means I owe Michael the next fish I get from Jin.”

“What?”

“We had a bet.” Hurley had the decency to look guilty, though he was still disgruntled about losing. “I said you and Kate would end up being an item, and he said it would be you and Charlie. Damn.” A light of realisation dawned over him, and his eyes first widened, then narrowed in suspicion. “Wait a minute, if you two are ... then that wasn’t any swimming lesson Sayid and I walked in on this afternoon, was it?”

The crimson that bloomed along Jack’s neck and ears and the wide grin that split Charlie’s face were answer enough, and Hurley groaned.

“Don’t say anything else. I don’t need those mental images.”

Charlie grasped Jack by the shoulders, turned him away from the fire, and started pushing him towards their room. With a cheeky grin he tossed a, “Good night, Hurley,” back over his shoulder before they vanished from sight.



Chapter 4


“Jack, Charlie, come on, guys, wake up.” An insistent hand joined the voice, shaking them both.

Predictably, Jack regained full consciousness first. “Kate? What, what is it?”

“Wake Charlie up. You both need to get up and come with me.”

“What?” Jack shook his head and refocused on Charlie. “Charlie, wake up. Charlie!”

“I’m up, I’m up.” Charlie sat up, rubbing his eyes. “What’s going on?”

“Locke’s back,” said Kate, “and he’s got Claire and the baby.”

“What? Where?”

“Next door in the ICU.”

“Is she hurt?” asked Jack.

“No,” Kate shook her head, “I don’t think so. It just seemed like the safest place for them.”

“Good thinking. I’ll grab my bag anyway, though. Thanks, Charlie.” Jack pulled on the shirt Charlie had just handed him. “When did they get back?”

“Few minutes ago.”

“Is anybody guarding the paths into the caves?” asked Charlie as he handed Jack his medical bag.

“Yeah, Boone and Sayid. Locke’s with Claire and the baby.”


Since they were just going next door, neither Jack nor Charlie wasted time putting their shoes on, and they padded along behind Kate into the ICU. True to her word, Claire sat inside, propped up against the back wall, looking tired and bedraggled, a small bundle in her arms. Locke sat between her and the door, knife in hand.

“Claire!” Charlie darted forward, dropping to his knees in front of the Australian woman.

“Charlie? Oh my god, it’s true.” Claire reached out with one arm to pull Charlie into a hug, clinging to him as if she were afraid to let go. “I thought you were dead. I thought you were dead for so long, when Locke told me Jack had saved you, I didn’t believe it.”

“Hey, it’s okay. Everything is going to be okay now.”


The other three watched the reunion of the two friends for a moment, then Locke stood and said to Jack and Kate, “I’ll be just on the other side of the screen.”

“Okay. Thanks, John,” said Jack, “and good work.”

Locke just smiled and walked from the room.


By the time Jack and Kate turned back to Claire and Charlie, Charlie was holding the baby and making faces at it. The baby’s wide little eyes were fixed on his face, and it seemed quite pleased with the show.

Jack crouched down next to Claire, while Kate settled against the wall a few steps away. “Hi, Claire,” he said. “It’s good to have you back.”

“Hi, Jack. It’s good to be back.”

“Look at the baby, Jack. Isn’t she sweet?” Charlie turned her to face Jack, and held her up for his lover to see.

“It’s a girl, huh?”

“Yeah,” said Claire. “I was sure for a while that she was going to be a boy, and now I don’t know what to name her.”

“I’m sure you’ll think of something. Now, can I take a look at you while Charlie’s got the baby? I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“Sure, fine. Just a few scratches and bruises, though.”

“How’d the birth go?” he asked as he looked her over.

“Good. There was... They had like a midwife there. She was kind to me.”

“At least something good came out of this, then. I’m sure she knew more about what she was doing than I would have.”

“Yeah, but I would rather it had been you.”

“Me, too, Claire. Me, too. So, when was she born?”

“Um, a couple of days ago, I guess. I was underground; it was hard to keep track of time.”

Jack finished checking her over and dabbing a few scratches with antiseptic in silence. “Well, you look alright. Are you hungry at all? I see you’ve got a bottle of water already.”

“I’m not really hungry. Too nervy to eat now anyway, I guess. I’ll wait for breakfast in the morning.”

“Okay. Mind if I look at the baby?”

“No. Go ahead.”

Jack held out his arms and Charlie carefully placed the baby in them. “There you go, Aurora my love. Time to leave Uncle Charlie so Uncle Jack can have a look at you.”

“Aurora?” asked Claire.

Charlie blushed and shrugged. “She has a sunny smile. It seemed appropriate to call her after the dawn. It’s just a suggestion, obviously. You don’t have to...”

“No,” interrupted Claire, “I like it. Aurora Littleton. Sounds good. Thank you, Charlie.”

“Well, Aurora,” said Jack, “since you seem to me to be a perfectly healthy baby, I’m going to give you back to your mom now.” He handed the baby to Claire with a smile and stood up. “I’m going to get you a couple of blankets, Claire. I’ll be right back.”


When Jack came back he handed Claire several blankets and then walked over to Kate. “You’re staying with Claire tonight?”

“Yeah, why?”

“You might need this.” He handed her one of the nine millimetres from the marshal’s case. “The clip is full. Safety’s on, and the first round hasn’t been chambered yet.”

“Thanks.” Kate took the gun from him and tucked it into the back of her trousers.

“Let’s hope you don’t need it.”

“Jack?”

“Yeah, Charlie?” Jack turned to see his lover staring at him with an unreadable expression on his face.

“Where did you get that gun?”

“That silver case next to the medicine cabinet. It was the marshal’s.”

“Why didn’t you tell me there was a gun in it? Didn’t you trust me?”

“Of course, I trust you. You never asked about the case, Charlie.”

“Well I’m asking now. What else is in there?”

“Three more guns, bullets, and some cash.”

“Alright, then. Thank you for telling me,” Charlie said, his voice heavy with sarcasm.

“You’re welcome. Can we go back to bed now, please? I’m exhausted, and I don’t want to fight just because we’re both tired.”

“Yeah, you’re right. You’re right. Bed sounds lovely.” He leaned over to place a kiss on the baby’s head. “Good night, Aurora. Good night, Claire.”

“Good night, Charlie.”

Charlie stood and walked over to Jack, tucking himself under the taller man’s arm. “Night, Kate.”

“Night, Charlie, Jack.”

“Good night, ladies,” said Jack as Charlie steered him towards the door.

They paused on their way back to their room for Charlie to thank Locke himself for bringing Claire back. All three of them were tired, so Charlie and Jack did not linger with Locke; details of the rescue could be got after everyone had slept.

In their room, they stripped off their shirts once more and crawled back into bed. Jack spooned up behind Charlie, nuzzling into the silky hair at the nape of his neck and placing a kiss behind his ear before tucking the shorter man’s head under his chin and stilling.

“Good night, Charlie.”

“Night, Jack.”


***


“So, Charlie,” said Claire, not looking up from the camisole she was trying to convert into a baby gown, “Kate said that you and Jack are, y’ know, seeing each other, living together.”

Charlie looked up from tuning his guitar. “Yeah.”

“When did that happen?”

“Three days ago. Does it bother you?”

Claire’s head came up, startled into making eye contact. “No, I just thought... Jack told me about an ex-girlfriend of his that told him he talked in his sleep.”

“Jack talks in his sleep? Guess it’s a good thing I’m such a heavy sleeper.” Charlie grinned at Claire, who smiled back at him. “Thing is, both Jack and I are bi-sexual. Although, I gather he’s been both more discreet and less, ah, indiscriminate about it than I.”

“You gather?”

“Yeah well, there’s been so much going on lately, and we’ve both been so tired, haven’t really gotten around to having that particular conversation yet. Suppose it’ll have to happen soon. If I come ‘round to cry on your shoulder one of these nights, it’ll be because I told Jack what a whore I’ve been and he’s dumped me out of disgust.” He broke eye contact, rubbing at a worn spot on the body of his guitar with one long finger.

“Charlie, I’m sure Jack wouldn’t do that.” Claire’s voice was gentle and sympathetic with remembered pain. “Look, he knows you’re a ‘rock-god’, right?”

“Yeah.”

“And he knows about the drugs?”

Charlie nodded.

“Then I’m sure he’s got a pretty good idea of what your sex life must’ve been like before. The cliché isn’t sex, drugs, and rock’n’roll for nothing, y’ know.”

“You’re right, you know,” said Charlie with a laugh.

“Of course I am. And I hope that when Aurora here is a rebellious teenager that, wherever we all are in the world, I’ll be able to point to you as an example and say, ‘Look at your Uncle Charlie. He was wild and broke all the rules, did drugs, slept around, but none of it made him happy. Finding your Uncle Jack, that’s what made him happy. So you just settle down and concentrate on finding your own Jack.’”

“Well, as long as I can serve as an example and keep her from making my mistakes... Do you really think Jack and I will still be together in fifteen or sixteen years?”

“I don’t know, Charlie. But I like happy endings, and a girl can hope, can’t she?”

“Sure, Claire, if a guy can hope with her.”

“I never say that anyone shouldn’t hope.”

“Good. He does, you know. Make me happy, that is.”

“Yeah, I can tell.”


They shared a smile, and Charlie went back to tuning his guitar while Claire’s attention returned to her sewing.


***


“I heard you playing your guitar today,” said Jack, sitting down next to Charlie on their bed. “First time since you were abducted, I think.”

“Yeah. I was playing lullabies for the baby.”

Jack had gathered as much, since he’d recognised the tune of All Through the Night when he’d stopped to listen. The Welsh lullaby had been beautifully played, Charlie’s nimble fingers weaving complex variations on the tune and then simplifying it again to end.

“That was a very nice thing to do, Charlie. You play beautifully.”

“You really think so?”

“Yeah, I do. Charlie, is there something wrong?”

“Wrong? No, nothing’s wrong. Why would you say that?”

“Well, because you’re being awfully quiet and you’re not looking at me. It’s making me nervous, frankly.”

“Sorry.” He looked up to give Jack a tight smile and then looked down again to pick at the hem of his jeans. “It’s just...”

“Just what?”

“You know I’ve enjoyed the past few days with you, I really have, but I ... I...”

Jack waited a moment for Charlie to finish his sentence and, when he didn’t, he asked, “Are you breaking up with me?”

“What? No!” Charlie’s head shot up and he grabbed hold of Jack’s arm. “No, Jack. I’m afraid you might want to break up with me when we’re done talking, though.”

“You’ve lost me, Charlie,” Jack said, shaking his head. “I thought that, with Claire back, you might not be happy with me anymore, but why would I want to break up with you?”

“Claire’s just a friend, Jack. But you...” Charlie let go of Jack’s arm and slid his hand behind the other man’s neck. “There are things I want to do to you, do with you, that go well beyond the hand jobs we’ve shared.”

“The feeling’s mutual, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Jack... You need to know my history before you make that decision.”

“Ah.”

“I’m sure you’ve guessed that I was less than perfectly celibate in my former life.”

“Yeah, I think the ‘rock-god’ bit kinda tipped me off. That and you’re very good with your hands.”

“I should be. It’s probably safe to say that I’ve shagged someone, or several someones, in most of the major cities of the world. I tried to be safe, but there were times when I was so pissed or stoned out of my mind ... who knows what I did.

“Jack, I haven’t been checked, for anything, in a long time.” He let his hand fall to his side and turned away from Jack, pulling his knees up to his chest. “After I started using, I didn’t want to take the chance of anyone finding out about it. I avoided hospitals and clinics like the bloody plague.”

“And how long...”

“Three years.”

“I won’t say I’m not concerned, Charlie. You haven’t ever noticed anything that would make you think you’ve contracted something?”

“No. Never.”

Jack sighed and scrubbed a hand across his face. “We both know that doesn’t mean you haven’t contracted anything, but I’m willing to take the risk.”

“You are?” Charlie stared at Jack, his expression incredulous.

“Yes. You know as well as I do that rescue could be a long time in coming, if it comes at all. I don’t want to wait indefinitely because we might be rescued and be able to have you tested.”

“I take it you’re clear?”

“Tested after I split up with my last girlfriend.” To Charlie’s raised eyebrow he elaborated, “Let’s just say that I had my doubts about her fidelity.”

“Well, you won’t have to doubt mine.”

“Glad to hear it.” Jack reached out to pull Charlie in for a kiss and was surprised to be rebuffed.

“Wait.” Charlie scrambled up, darting over to his pile of possessions and extracting a small cloth bag. “I have something that might help.”

Jack took the bag from Charlie’s outstretched hand, opening it to peer inside. “Condoms? Why didn’t you say you had these before?”

“I wanted you to make your decision based on the assumption of no protection. I didn’t want to go through this all again when we ran out.”

“Can’t say I blame you.” He looked into the bag again. “I see you also have lube and erotic message oil. Dare I ask where you got this little goodie bag?”

Charlie’s ears pinked. “Sawyer gave it to me.”

“You asked Sawyer for this?”

“No. He just gave it to me.”

“Out of the goodness of his heart?”

“More like out of the depths of his depravity. He thought that if you were occupied with me, he’d have a chance with Kate. The man’s crazy.”

“True.” Jack set the bag next to the head of their bed and pulled his shirt off, tossing it away to land vaguely near their shoes as he stood. “But I don’t want to talk about Sawyer right now. You know what they say: ‘Speak of the devil...’”

“‘And he appears.’” Charlie finished the phrase just as Jack stopped in front of him. “Last thing I want is to have him pop in here with his usual sense of poor timing.” He reached out to explore the planes of Jack’s chest with his fingers, pleased with the way the man’s body quivered at his touch. One hand he slid upwards to pull Jack’s head down for a kiss, the other he slid down to work at the fly of Jack’s jeans. Jack’s hands pressed into his back, and Charlie leaned into the touch, forcing Jack to bend forward to keep from breaking the contact of their lips.

Fly undone, Charlie transferred his hand from the back of Jack’s neck to his waist and slid both jeans and underwear down, carefully easing the elastic waistband of Jack’s briefs past his hardening penis. The clothing pooled around Jack’s ankles, and Charlie urged him to step out of it with an undulating full-body nudge. He steered Jack back to their bed, breaking their kiss and pressing down on the taller man’s shoulders to make him sit when they reached it.

Charlie stepped back then, eyes hooded and a lustful grin playing at his lips, to give Jack a good view as his fingers curled around the hem of his own shirt and pulled it slowly up and off his body. He dropped it carelessly to the floor and made a show of running his hands down his torso to unfasten his own jeans. No underwear lurked beneath his jeans, and when they were allowed to drop to the ground, his cock sprang happily free.

He watched with pleasure as Jack devoured him with his eyes, tongue darting out to wet his lips. Once he’d judged that his lover had been given ample opportunity to admire the view, Charlie toed off his socks and stalked back over to Jack. He encouraged Jack to swing his legs onto the bed and stretch out on his back, pulled the other man’s own socks off, and then straddled the supine and fully nude form.

Starting just above the navel, Charlie kissed and nipped his way to Jack’s mouth. He had to fend off grasping hands that threatened to pull him down, flush with the body beneath him, in order to maintain control of the pace. After having placed himself at Jack’s mercy emotionally, he needed to be in physical control of the encounter to regain his balance.

While he explored Jack’s mouth, he slowly lowered his hips into contact with the other man’s, trapping their cocks between them. Jack bucked upward, and Charlie ground down in response. The friction was exquisite; part of him wanted to just keep thrusting against Jack, enjoying the slight lubrication of mingled sweat and precum. The dominant part, however, had one goal, and one goal only: to be inside his lover. Coming between their stomachs was not in the plan, so Charlie pulled back and groped for the bag of condoms and lube.

He picked out the lube and a single condom relatively quickly, but fumbled and lost his grip on them when Jack moaned his name and brushed over a nipple with one large, capable hand. Charlie swore and fished in the bag to regain the dropped articles, sitting back on his haunches as soon as he had them in hand again.

Jack was impatient and had his legs hooked over Charlie’s shoulders before he’d even managed to open the tube of lubricant. Charlie gambled on that impatience, hoping it meant that the other man was relaxed enough that he could be somewhat frugal with the lube; he wanted to make it last as long as possible. He carefully stretched out Jack’s entrance, then sheathed himself with the condom. The tip of his cock bumped against the opening of his lover’s body, and he leaned forward to capture his lips before slowly pushing inside.

Charlie’s control didn’t last long, and soon he was thrusting in counter-point to the rocking of Jack’s hips, the other man’s legs slipping from his shoulders. The gasps and pleasured shudders that ran through Jack’s body each time he came in contact with the man’s prostate only spurred him on. The motion of his hips became a rapid staccato, and he reached between them to match the rhythm with his hand on Jack’s cock.

Jack came with an exclamation, which Charlie swallowed, his body convulsing around the smaller man. That was all Charlie could handle, and he came into Jack, his own cry lost in the hungry press of mouths as well.


Ever the caretaker, Jack used the nearest discarded shirt to clean them both up once Charlie had pulled out and rolled off of him. The used condom was tossed on top of the soiled shirt to be dealt with in the morning. Charlie snuggled into Jack’s side, draping an arm over his chest and twining their legs together, and Jack pulled a blanket up to cover them both.

He wasn’t certain, but as he drifted off to sleep, Jack thought he heard the quiet murmur of Charlie’s voice whisper, “Love you.”


***


Jack felt that it would be no great hardship if he were to wake in this position for the rest of his life. Charlie was draped over him like some living blanket, the soft hairs of his head tickling Jack’s chin and those of his beard rubbing at his collarbones as Charlie shifted in his sleep. It was, perhaps, slightly too warm to be entirely comfortable, but the discomfort was secondary to the contented happiness that suffused him.

A small sigh escaping, Jack closed his eyes and rubbed his cheek against the top of his lover’s head. He stroked gently down Charlie’s back, savouring his license to touch the beautiful man at will. If the mattress beneath him had been one of springs and foam and the sheets of fine Egyptian cotton, Jack would have been willing claim the moment as absolute perfection.

The sudden rasp of beard followed by kisses to his neck and chest alerted him to the fact that Charlie, too, was now awake. Charlie’s mouth roamed lower, the occasional nip and lick interspersed with the kisses, and when the man’s wicked tongue danced across a nipple, Jack moaned and arched up into the contact, his caressing hand gripping spasmodically at Charlie.

Charlie slid further down Jack’s body and nuzzled at the base of his rising cock. It was all Jack could do not to fist his hand in his lover’s sun-bleached locks and urge his lips toward the organ. Thankfully, Charlie wasn’t in the mood to tease and, after swiping his tongue firmly up the shaft, he sheathed his teeth and sucked Jack’s cock into his mouth. Strong hands held his hips down when he would have thrust upwards into the wet mouth caressing him and Jack shoved a fist into his own mouth to stifle the shout of pleasure that almost escaped him.

His lover was both determined and talented, and release came quickly for Jack. Another shout was muffled by his fist as his cum was swallowed efficiently. Charlie slid back up his body and kissed him fervently once his orgasm was completed, and Jack could taste himself on his lover’s tongue.


“Morning, Jack.”

Blue eyes sparkled merrily down at him, and it was all Jack could do to manage, “Mmmm, Charlie,” in reply.

“Sated, are we?”

“Yep.”

“Good.” Charlie kissed him again lightly. “I want to thank you, Jack, for all the help you’ve given me.”

“Charlie, what...”

“Shhh, Jack,” Charlie laid long fingers over Jack’s mouth, “just listen. You gave me support when I needed it, and before you say it: no that’s not what this,” he paused for another kiss, “is about.”

“What is this about, then?” Jack whispered the question, half afraid to hear the answer.

“This is about you being a sexy, sexy man who makes me very happy. Jack, I ... I like myself when I’m with you. I haven’t liked myself in a long time.”

“And when you’re not with me?”

“I still mostly like myself. Won’t deny that I have a few lapses now and again, but self-hatred isn’t my usual state of being anymore. If it makes you more comfortable, I will say that Locke and Claire also had a hand in that, but you’re the one who makes me feel all gooey inside.”

Jack laughed at the way Charlie scrunched up his face and said, “Gooey?”

“Yeah. Gooey and sticky-sweet like a melted marshmallow. Probably a bit girly to admit to it, but it’s true and I’m feeling compelled to truthfulness.”

Jack knew he was grinning like an idiot, but made no attempt to check the expression. He brought both hands up to cup Charlie’s face, keeping the other man from escaping the full force of his gaze. “You make me very happy, as well, Charlie. And, since we’re handing out thank-yous, I want to thank you for that. I was having problems of my own before the crash and after... Let’s just say it was stressful being elected de facto leader of our little group. When I’m with you, though, I don’t have to be the leader or the doctor. I can just be Jack, and that means a lot to me.”

“Well, Just Jack, you’re very welcome.” Charlie pried one of Jack’s hands away from his face and placed a kiss on the pulse point. “I vote we keep at the whole making each other happy bit, starting with you helping me with a little problem I seem to be developing.” He thrust his hips forward, nudging Jack with his half-hard cock.


Jack’s smile turned slightly lascivious, and he replied, “It would be my pleasure.”


***


It was naptime at the caves. The day was hot and muggy with the weight of an impending storm, and most people were taking a midday siesta to avoid the worst of the heat. Charlie was cradling Aurora in his arms while Jack cradled him in his, all three of them somnolent to one degree or another.

He squirmed back against Jack, and the other man shifted to take him deeper in his embrace. Claire had gone to take a shower with Kate trailing along as her bodyguard, appointing Charlie her babysitter. Charlie didn’t mind. Being trusted with Aurora made him feel useful and included. Other men might not have agreed, but Charlie loved babies and this one, he knew, was special above all others. It was an honour to be trusted to keep her safe.

For the time being, Charlie was content. His lover was a kind, caring man. His friend and her baby, who he’d thought he had failed so miserably, were safe. He had faced trials and come out of them with a renewed sense of self, a renewed sense of worth.


He was happy.



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